Caregiver Stress is a Very Painful Silent Oppressor

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This is often called "burnout". Caregivers may experience burnout when they don't get adequate help or when they overextend themselves physically, mentally, or financially. Fatigue, anxiety attacks, and even depression may come from this caregiver burnout. One of the problems with them getting help, however, is that they often feel a strong sense of guilt if they take more personal time or give themselves the attention they need. They are driven to help others and can become obsessed with the idea that apart from only the most basic necessities they shouldn't take any time for, or expend any effort on, themselves.

Clearly, if you are a caregiver and you are suffering what seems like the extreme and persistent fatigue that is exhaustion, you should be aware of the possible symptoms so that you can be informed. The symptoms of Caregiver Stress include:

Increased and constant irritability.
• Self-seclusion; separating yourself from family, friends, even spouse or lover.
• Feeling physically fatigued or emotionally spent on a constant basis.
• Irrationally feeling a desire to cause pain to the people you care for or harm yourself.
• Low or zero interest in things you always take joy or pleasure in.
• Getting the blues all the time with hardly any let-up.
• Having strong feelings of despair or helplessness.
• Becoming more susceptible to illness.
• Becoming more heavily affected by allergies.
• Losing sleep or having marked changes in your sleeping patterns.
• Significant loss or gain in appetite, weight, or both together.

• You may find it very difficult to separate your caregiver role from that of your roles like spouse, parent, friend, or family member. This can stress out those other people, which feeds back on you.
• You might be a perfectionist and expect everything you do to make a difference in the condition or life of those you care for--even if they have something like AIDS, advanced stage cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's or Autism. When you don't get the results you expect, you feel depressed.
• You might feel inadequate because you lack the money, time, or resources you need to do all you want to do for those you care for.

• Talk to someone you know you can trust about how you feel. Receiving understanding can be like a magical elixir for you.
• Be realistic in your personal care giving goals.
• Step back and be rational about those you are caring for who you know are not likely to last much longer.
• You, just like those you care for, are an integer--in other words, your personal needs matter just as much as theirs do. In the midst of everything you're doing for others, you have to be good to yourself.